If a family is to be successful, the man and woman must not come together simply because they are attached to each others physical appearance, to the sound of the others voice, or other external features. They should begin by getting to know each other well. If each one discovers that the other has certain qualities, love becomes mutual, such love will be naturally associated with respect and consideration, and it then is highly likely that their marriage will be happy and long lasting.
If a man and woman marry through mere desire and sexual attraction, rather like an attraction one might have to a prostitute, without knowing the other persons character or holding them with respect, they will love each other as long as their desire remains strong.But once the novelty of excitement has faded, if love does not go hand in hand with deep and mutual admiration, it becomes difficult to live together in harmony. This type of love is blind. After a while, it often turns into the opposite. If couples have children, then children too run the risk of being unloved. It is very important to reflect on these things when one wishes to live with some one.
From the moment you get married, there are two of you. Even when we are alone, the thoughts we have in the evening might be opposite of the thought we had in the morning. Needless to say, when two people are involved, differences of opinion can crop up at any time. If one partner or another is interested in only his or her own ideas and does not take into accounts the others views, the couple is dysfunctional.
As soon as we live with another person, we should treat that person affectionately and always pay attention to his or her well being. Each partner has to share the responsibility whatever happens. Marriage cannot be the responsibility of just one partner.
The 14th Dalai Lama Tenzin Gyatsho.